Separated and Its Complicated

So he’s back in town already. If you are new here, you’ll have to read previous posts under the Me category.

It was my 2nd day back to work this week and 2nd day without him and he text asking if I was at work. I had just got done and was going to work out. I let him know and after I’m at the gym, he says he’s at his friends and to pick him up when I’m done so that he can get his bike and a few things. Then he comments, had he know. I was going to the gym, he could have gone there first to stare at the bootay.

So then I don’t stay long at the gym because if I have to get him, I need to make sure I’m home on time to take our oldest to get college stuff. I leave and pick him up. He jokes with me about me getting in shape now that he’s gone, even though I started before he left. Our daughter is home so he talks with her and then tells me he is having someone come over the next morning to trim the trees over the house and he’s going to start fixing up the back yard for us.

Now he’s motivated to do this? My guess is that will give him excuse to b around a lot. Which is fine I guess. He’s going to make me crazy either way, at least some stuff will get done.

But tonight was first he stayed at his new place and its really hard knowing he’s in town but not at home with us anymore. When he’s over the road away, it’s because of his job and although I worry about is safety, it’s kind of bearable but now it’s just painful. He told me I could text him later. He text first and it was small talk but I know it has to be hard. I know how hard it was for me when I moved out before we were married and we split up. I was sick to my stomach and heartbroken. And granted we didn’t have kids then but that was just as bad if not worse because I had no ties to him at all then and I knew I wanted to be with only him so bad.

I dont know what’s going to happen. I still think we need to give us all a break but I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else or wanting to be with anyone else. Even though he’s hurt me, I can’t stand hurting him.

Both of our girls have reacted differently the. I thought. Our oldest was more somber when saying goodbye and seemed a little sadder and although our youngest hugged and kissed him Alot, she hid any sadness and was her usual crazy self after we left him at his place.

Also, when I tell people what he said about people who separate, don’t usually get back together, I was surprised that most of these people who had been supporting my separation, said that’s not true. Sometimes a separation is just what is needed.

Anyhow, he unfriended and blocked me from his Facebook awhile ago and I had to log out to view his page. Just being nosey and I seen that he didn’t waste any time changing status to single. I hadn’t changed mine since I’m technically still married but I still had a hard time putting separated down. Should I point that out to him? It kind of bothers me. Don’t want to spark an argument and don’t want to give false hope when I don’t even know what the future will be but I still want him to know how I feel.

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