Not Feeling Weepy Anymore

Despite All My Rage I am Still Just a Rat in a...

Despite All My Rage I am Still Just a Rat in a Cage (Photo credit: Alex Bellink)

So I was not able to get rid of any of my shifts this Easter weekend but I did manage to get today off and since its Spring Break for my girls, I thought maybe we would do something. My oldest wanted to go to our Resort in Cocoa since her dad had just paid it up to date. I was considering it even though its too cold to swim, there’s free mini golf, tennis, the hot tub, free movies in theatre, could fly kites etc…. And since my husband was home yesterday, I thought I would mention it to him to be nice and maybe spend a family day if he wanted. I asked what he was doing and he said he had to work. So then I told him what we were talking about. But he said nothing except mentioning that he guessed he should go to work since bills are coming around again.

After he went to bed, I was considering going there anyhow and bringing my daughter’s boyfriend with us but I decided it would be best to plan another weekend when we could swim too. I was trying to come up with other ideas for today, such as canoeing which wasn’t that expensive, but they were not impressed and my oldest opted to go to her boyfriend’s house today and my youngest wanted to go to the mall. It wasn’t what I hoped to do but I always enjoy spending time with either of my girls.

My husband however, did NOT go to work AGAIN today. He slept in. After the mall, we went to Walmart for groceries and on my way home, I was thinking of all the good things about my husband again and getting a little weepy eyed thinking about leaving him. Of how it was going to hurt the both of us. But when we got back, he was getting ready to leave. He helped with the groceries and then said something about going to the Sports Den to talk to the owner about bands. I’m sure he will but I’m also sure he is going to drink too. He said he was going to borrow my car, didn’t kiss me goodbye and just left. And now I am not feeling very weepy.

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